The Hysterical History of the Trojan War

BY D. M. LARSO

CAST OF CHARACTERS

(13-18+ speaking roles, unlimited number of extras as soldiers for Troy and Sparta, suggestions for doubling below)
CASSANDRA - She can see the future, but no one will listen to her. Sister of Paris and Hector.
HELEN - Goofy teen-like girl who runs away with Paris and starts a war.
PARIS - Goofy teen-like boy who takes Helen to Troy.
APOLLO - War god. He can double as Trojan soldier.
ODYSSEUS - Greek warrior on Spartan side.
ATHENA - War goddess. She can double as Spartan warrior.

HECTOR - Prince of Troy and brother of Paris and Cassandra. He can double as ZEUS.
ZEUS - Leader of the gods. He can double as Trojan soldier, GUARD or HECTOR.
GUARD - Trojan wall guard. He makes fun of everyone. He can double as ZEUS.
HERA - Wife of Zeus. She can double as Spartan warrior or PATROCLUS.
PATROCLUS - Cousin of Achilles. He can double as HERA or POSEIDON and/or Trojan soldier.
AJAX - Spartan warrior who uses muscles rather than brains. He can double as POSEIDON.
AGAMEMNON - Lord of the Greeks. Appears a bit like Darth Vader from Star Wars but Spartan style. He can double as POSEIDON.
MENELAUS - Spartan King and husband of Helen. He can double as POSEIDON and/or Spartan soldier.
POSEIDON - Ocean god. He can double as AJAX, AGAMEMNON or Spartan or Trojan soldier.
HOMER and the HOMERETTES - If it's all men, it can be HOMER and the HOMMIES or if it be HOMER solo. Or the HOMERETTES can be played by soliders or the women in the cast. HOMER can have dark shades like Stevie Wonder since he's blind.

*Remember: the Greeks had men play women parts and in our modern times, women can play men so be flexible with the casting.